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Monday, July 24, 2006

It's a Really Wonderful Life

From Contact Music:
Movie great JAMES STEWART was forced to prove he wasn't gay by bedding two hookers, according to an explosive new biography. Movie mogul LOUIS B MAYER reportedly instructed the IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE star to prove to him he wasn't a homosexual before offering him a film deal, sending the actor off to find a couple of prostitutes. The shocking claim is made by MARC ELIOT in his new tome JIMMY STEWART - A BIOGRAPHY, which is set to hit bookshelves this autumn (06). Eliot claims Meyer demanded Stewart prove he wasn't gay by visiting a Hollywood brothel and bedding "at least two of those broads". The biographer claims the young Stewart was so charged by the sexual experience, it sparked a string of romances with Tinseltown's leading ladies.

Other good excuses for seeing hookers:
It's payday.

My team lost in overtime.

I was out of beer.

While walking down the street I spilled my drink, slipped on the ice, and banged my head, knocking me unconscious. Hookers found me and took me in as one of their own, bathing me in fragrant oils and drying me with their tongues. I barely managed to escape. (True story.)

It's Tuesday.

"Honey, I'm just going out for some smokes."

I was horny and the torn cartilage in my wrists was acting up.

Every time I see a hooker, an angel gets its wings.

Someone switched my Xanax with Cialis.

I need to do research for a post on excuses for seeing hookers.

Anonymous fmragtops said...

In the words of Dr. Dre: "F-k you n!&&a, cuz I can!"


I really had to piss, so I whipped it out. A hooker came up from underneath and hit it like a top-water bait! (true story too)


Cuz Cranky told me to.


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