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Friday, June 23, 2006

Al Qaeda Celebrates US Elimination from World Cup (Death to America)

Al Qaeda Celebrates
US Elimination from World Cup
(Death to America);

AQW Council salutes 13 Democratic Senators
for standing up to filthy Jews

26 Jumada 'l-Ula 1427AH - Al Qaeda Worldwide announced its support for the Republic of Ghana after the Ghanaian national soccer team defeated the American team 2-1, AQW Executive Director Osama bin Laden announced today. The win by the brave Ghanaian team eliminated the cowardly infidels from the World Cup.

"Today is truly a Day of Days," bin Laden declared. "The scorn of Allah and the Wrath of Ghana have been heaped upon the blaspheming piglovers as they are forced to cut and run from the Tournament of the Cup of the World, much as they will soon flee like the sons of a burqaless woman from the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan, Mishallah! Death to America."

The failure of the United States to advance to the next round of the World Cup is seen by many in Al Qaeda and the Democratic party as a setback for President George W. Bush and a repudiation of his deceitful and illegal policies.

"On this glorious day Al Qaeda indeed salutes the proud warriors of Ghana," confirmed AQW Associate Executive Director Ayman Al-Zawahiri. "In the name of the Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), the filthy Jews have learned today that their swine-eating patron does not have the stomach for extended confrontations of any sort, Murtha be praised.

"Even as their women shamelessly flaunt their toned, supple, well-moisturized bare skin, and hairless faces with thick, pouty lips and the noses of straightness, even as their girls go the wild and lay down with other wildings of girls, so shall our purity of essence lead us to victory in the eyes of Allah, blessed be his name," Zawahiri continued, adding, "Death to America."

In other AQ news, the Al Qaeda Executive Council and AQW subsidiary Al Qaeda in Iraq expressed their appreciation to those Democratic Senators who earlier today courageously stood up to the Jewo-conservatives and voted to set a timetable for defeat in Iraq.

"Al Qaeda in Iraq joins the Executive Council in thanking Senators Kerry, Kennedy, Feingold, Boxer, Leahy, Menendez, Durbin, Lautenberg, Harkin, Inouye, Wyden and Jeffords for their hard work and efforts on our behalf," said recently appointed AQI leader Abu Ayyub al-Masri. "On a personal note, allow me to say that for blaspheming tools of the money-worshipping Jews, their guidance has been invaluable and I look forward to working with them in the future as I continue to grow into my new position, Inshallah! Except for Senator Boxer, who truly is the whore of whores. Death to America."

Founded in 1988 by Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda Worldwide has quickly become the world's leading exporter of Islamism, with Muslims from around the world participating in AQW's training seminars in Afghanistan and the Pakistan border regions. Among AQW's accomplishments under Executive Director bin Laden are the Embassy Bombing Fundraising Campaign of 1998, the Y2K USS Cole Bombing Membership Drive and the September 11 Allah4U American tour. As AQW has expanded, subsidiaries have been established in key areas across the globe, including Al Qaeda in Iraq (AQI), Al Qaeda in Afghanistan (AQA), Al Qaeda in Peshawar (AQP), Al Qaeda in Hollywood (AQH) and Al Qaeda in Academia (AQAc). AQW boasts an ethnically diverse membership, with all members connected by their devotion to the word of Allah, love for his Prophet (pbuh) and their understanding that to kill Americans and their allies, civilians and military, is an individual duty of every Muslim who is able. Death to America.


Al Qaeda Press Release Archive:

Al-Muhajer to Replace Murdered AQI Leader al-Zarqawi (Death to America)

Al Qaeda Condemns Proposed Marine Sanctuary (Death to America)

Anonymous fmragtops said...

The fourth and fifth paragraphs, are some of the funniest statements...ever.

Blogger The Cranky Insomniac said...

It's all Zawahiri...he's so money and he doesn't even know it.

Anonymous Room 237 said...

Do they realize that one of the Ghanans plays in Israel?

After Ghana beat the Czechs, this player ran around the field with an Israeli flag to thank his fans in Israel?


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