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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

An apologia for light blogging

These are various reasons why my blogging has been light over the past several days:
I've been posting comments at various other blogs, including long and cranky screeds here.

Cataloging all the porn on the internet is not as easy as it sounds. Take "spanking" as just one example. There are various genres and subgenres of porn where this activity can fit, including, but not limited to, "spanking," "s/m", "bdsm," and "rough sex." Learning the often subtle nuances of each of these is imperative. Then you have to get into motivation: why is he spanking her? Does she want him to spank her? Did he have a bad day at the office? Was she really being a "bad girl"? Was she just pretending to be a "bad girl" because being spanked turns her on? Or is it as simple as the possibility that she just kept on asking questions even after he said he didn't want to talk about it any more and maybe he has been working long hours lately but did she ever consider that maybe he just doesn't want to come home to her constant nagging and is it too much trouble for her to have dinner ready when he does get home after all who do you think pays for all this? As you can see, discerning all of this can often require hours of study.

I've been trying out all the new brands of body wash aimed at men that have hit the market lately. As a pre-Howard Dean metrosexual, I've been using body wash instead of soap for a long time, but recently there's been an explosion of brands developed especially for men, so I figured I'd try to find one that would leave me smelling like a man, but feeling like a pretty little girl - the Holy Grail of aftershower combinations. So far I know that I'm not a fan of Axe, which left me feeling more like a horny, frustrated 16 year old boy. Dial for men has possibilities, but further research is indicated.

I've been debating the merits and demerits of getting highlights for the summer. Still up in the air on this one.

I had to get all my pants let out about 2 inches. My tailor says this is because I'm adding bodymass either around the waist area or somewhere right below the waist area, in the front. Also, I may be putting on height.

Grey's Anatomy was on two nights this week.

My position as Communications Director for the Elders of Zion has kept me very busy lately. (See here, here and here.) My workload should lighten up after The Da Vinci Code opens this Friday: plotting against the One True Church is always time consuming, but given the recent failure of our Pontius Pilates fitness centers, everyone has been working double-shifts on this one.

I've been trying to figure out what it must feel like to be Kevin Federline. How many people could be married to Britney Spears and be thought of as the less-talented one?
Anyway, serious blogging will begin again very shortly, possibly even tonight after House!

Anonymous fmragtops said...

As a little slice of friendly help, a sexual fetish, as defined by the Behavioral Sciences division of the FBI, is a fixation on an object such that receiving sexual gratification from that object takes the place of the normal concept of "sex". I'm paraphrasing here.

Law enforcement training in sexual deviancy is...ummm...interesting. I am reminded of a quote from the Nicolas Cage movie 8 millimeter, "There are some things that you wish you could unsee."

Sorry if I came off like an @$$hole. Just trying to help.

19:26  
Anonymous Dave Lucas said...

Hey Cranky! Wow, the Da Vinci Code picture is really stirring folks up! They gotta remember: it's ONLY a movie, based on a NOVEL. I've blogged about it too! I'm hoping to get some feedback from you via the "comments" section on my blog!

19:32  
Blogger The Cranky Insomniac said...

Fmrosa:

The Body Vibes Sex Dictionary defines fetish as "A fixation on an activity, an object, or on part of the body."

You can put your trust in the organization behind Ruby Ridge: I'll put mine in a company that specializes in providing freaky good times.

-Crankhead

20:05  
Anonymous fmragtops said...

If the guy that taught the class didn't seem like he enjoyed his job so much, I might be tempted to follow your logic. This guy seemed to be a closet connoisseur of sexual deviancy. I'm going with the creepy FBI agent.

21:37  
Blogger The Cranky Insomniac said...

Fmradio:

Armed with the new information about your teacher, I've changed fetish to activity in the post.

Never argue with a guy who really loves his job, I say.

23:37  

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