Support Denmark, Defend Freedom

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Today's EZ Conference agenda

Following welcoming remarks by William Kristol, today's session of the 1,735th annual Elders of Zion Conference (see previous post) got underway. On the morning's agenda:
  • Trey Parker gave an update on Operation: Acme, our plan to foster mistrust between Muslims and the west through the use of offensive cartoons. All agreed the Danish cartoons were worth every penny we spent on them, and that the refusal of Comedy Centralsor to air a cartoon image of Muhammed actually worked to our advantage. Pinch Sulzberger's idea of having his New York Times repeatedly publish pictures of the Virgin Mary covered in dung in order to further infuriate Christians won high praise. Additional resources were allocated for future efforts. Also, a boycott of Borders Books was unanimously agreed upon, with the Queen of England abstaining.
  • There was heated debate on the topic of whether or not to revoke Steven Spielberg's membership. After several hours, the motion was tabled upon the recommendation of the representative from the Vatican.
Tonight's festivities will kick off with the presentation of the Lifetime Achievement Award, which this year is going to David Rockefeller, in recognition of his outstanding efforts in setting up our front organizations, including the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group and the Council on Foreign Relations. Presenting the long-overdue award will be Vice President of the United States, Richard Cheney.

Tonight's closing speaker will be Henry Kissinger. His topic will be, "The assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK: why we did it and what we gained."

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