Support Denmark, Defend Freedom

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Take the Huffington Post test

Want to become a star blogger at the Huffington Post? Take the following test and see if you qualify! Give yourself one point for every “yes” answer, unless otherwise noted.

  1. Are you an underworked or out-of-work actor?
  1. Are you the spouse of an actor?
  1. Are you both?
  1. Have you ever started your own religion?
  1. Will hiring you increase Arianna’s chances of going to all the right parties?
  1. Is making up words such as “Repugs” or “Retardicans” the highlight of your day?
  1. Do you secretly want America to fail in Iraq because it will make President Bush look bad?
  1. Do you secretly not support our troops because deep down you’re sure they’re just a bunch of illiterate thugs who mindlessly follow orders and enjoy torturing innocent civilians?
  1. Do you believe that some Christians are overly sensitive, and that these people should be ridiculed mercilessly?
  1. Do you believe that some Muslims are overly sensitive, and that these people should be treated with the utmost deference and respect?
  1. Does it still boggle your mind that America elected an actor as its President?
  1. Do you wish Alec Baldwin would run for President?
  1. Do you think Americans who disagree with you are evil, but foreigners who want to kill you are misunderstood?
  1. Do you think your political views are generally mainstream but that average Americans are generally idiots?
  1. Do you think you’re open minded, but believe that people who don’t always agree with you are morons?
  1. Do you think CBS News is too conservative?
  1. Do you think people who believe Bush are morons?
  1. Do you believe Michael Moore?
  1. Do you believe Cindy Sheehan has “absolute moral authority,” but that mothers who have lost sons in Iraq and are pro-war do not?
  1. Do you think people such as Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly are poisonous to our political culture?
  1. Do you think Daily Kos and Al Franken are a breath of fresh air?
  1. Did you find “Crash” to be a challenging yet realistic look at everyday life in Los Angeles?
  1. Did you watch “Crash” in your own screening room while private security patrolled your neighborhood?
  1. Do you think George Clooney is brave? Does the name Theo van Gogh mean anything to you? (Subtract one point if it does.)
  1. Do you understand that a good sign that you don’t live in a fascist society is that you can rage against living in a fascist society and not get shot? (Subtract one point if you do.)

How to rate your score:

0-4: We already have Greg Gutfeld. We don’t need another fascist HuffPoster.
5-10: You might be better off checking for an opening at The New Republic.
11-15: You have potential. Say three Hail Cindys, watch Fahrenheit: 9/11 again, then re-take the test.
16-20: Almost there. Work on your credentials by posting nasty comments at Gutfeld’s blog.
17 or more: Congratulations, you’re gold! The only reason you don’t have your own HufflePuff blog yet is that you haven’t sent enough money to Deepak.

(Note: This test was adapted from a comment I once left on Greg Gutfeld’s Huffington Post blog.)

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