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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Help! Irony Police!

Editor's note: The following is an unedited transcript of an emergency call received by the Irony Police shortly after the airing of South Park last night on Comedy Central. The caller has been identified only as Sam, but it is believed he may be somebody's uncle.

Help irony police I've been watching this episode of South Park see well actually it's a two-part episode so it airs over two weeks okay and the entire point of the two-part episode that airs over two weeks the entire reason it was written okay was to illustrate the point that you can't give in to violence that you can't let Islamists tell you that you can't show images of Muhammed that you can't let their rioting and their threats of violence force you into submission that if you do that then you're saying that all you have to do to get me to abandon my principles is threaten me with violence and that you're saying that if you ask nicely I'll tell you to fuck off but you can get anything you want if you threaten me and get all belligerent and irrational and that's a bad message to send because all it does is encourage more acts of violence and destruction and if you do that you're basically allowing terrorists to tell you what you can and cannot do and that's not the way it's supposed to be here in America or anywhere in the West for that matter and if you want to live that way you're sad and pathetic and so anyway I've been watching this episode of South Park see and so what does Comedy Central do they air the episode the two-part episode that airs over two weeks okay so it all builds up to the end of the second part and finally Kyle that's one of the characters on the show finally Kyle persuades the president of a TV network to air a show that features a cartoon depiction of Muhammed and so it's a happy ending right and a good lesson is learned by everyone and we all live happily ever after but WAIT I can't believe what just happened Comedy Central just refused to show the scene from the show within the show that features a cartoon depiction of Muhammed they refused to show it instead a screen came up with the words "Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammed on their network" I can't believe this just happened it negates the whole point of the episode the two-part episode that airs over two weeks so you watch it for two weeks and then Comedy Central does this this is ridiculous please hurry irony police please hurry this is an emergency we're in big trouble here mayday mayday we're going down please send help we can't let this happen we're the only chance the world has got it may already be too late for Eurabia it's gonna be up to us as usual so please hurry please we've got to stop the bleeding before it's too late for us too hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hur

Editor: At this point the voice on the tape abruptly cuts off. Sounds of screaming and breaking glass can be heard, along with what has been tentatively identified as crackling flames. The immediate fate of the man dubbed "Uncle" Sam is not yet known.


Update: Much more at Michelle Malkin, Volokh Conspiracy and The Anchoress.

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